Syndromes

I wish I could get some sleep.
I wish I could forget why I can't.

After dreaming so much, after searching for so long.
And now nothing.

Am I the only one in this world who doesn't understand the most simple of things?
Am I the only one stupid enough to be afraid of the most delicate of things?

If my life was glass, all that would be left is just a shard; a fragment.
I am the little bit of my whole, left alone, to never be put back together.

What have I become from this?
Why do my thoughts trick me?
Where is my mind!?

I want to throw up constantly.
This knot in my stomache is squishing the butterflies within.
I can barley eat.

I want to kill myself, but I don't want to die. I have so much life stuck inside me that I'm begining to think that I won't ever let it all out.
I have lost what pulls me from my darkness.

I have been reading over my past ideas and I feel that I have completely failed my own self.
I can't stop thinking...
I think, I think, I think and I think, but nothing becomes real.
I have been living in my thoughts.
Waiting...

But waiting gets you nowhere...
And thats my problem.
I can't wait anymore.

So what's going to happen?
My thoughts wont tell me anything true.
Please tell me what is true to you.

Is this worth all the pain?